Monday, June 27, 2005

Ang mapagsiil na utang na loob

Sa aming pag-aaral ng sikolohiyang Pilipino, sinuri namin ang mga magaganda at nakasasamang katangian ng mga Pilipino. Lumabas ang mga halata ng katangian: pakikisama, nepotism, katamaran, masiyahin at iba pa. At may napansin ako, tila ata nakikita natin ang 'utang na loob' bilang isang di kanais-nais na katangian, isang hadlang sa ating pag-asenso.

Marahil dala na rin ito ng pangit nitong manipestasyon gaya ng nepotismo nga raw. Pero sa tingin ko ang utang na loob ay isang magandang katangian na likas na sa Pinoy.

Ang pagtanaw ng utang na loob ay parang panghabangbuhay na pasasalamat. Ito ay aksyon o mga aksyon na dulot ng lugod mo sa pagtulong sa iyo ng iyong kapwa. Malaking bagay sa iyo ang nagawa niya kaya naman habang ikaw ay nabubuhay nais mo rin siyang tulungan sa paraang kaya mo.

Isa pang kagandahan ng utang na loob ay hindi ito madaling isinusumbat. Isa ka ng kamuhi-muhing nilalang kapag nabansagan kang 'walang utang na loob.' Lalong masakit kung galing ito sa ating mga magulang sapagkat sa kanila natin utang ang maraming bagay at karanasan na humubog sa atin bilang tao.

Ngunit, gaya ng maraming katangian, maaari rin itong makasama sa indibidwal o sa lipunan kung sobra sobra. Minsan, maaari ng maging pabigat ang sinasabing 'utang na loob' lalo na kung sa iyong palagay ay hindi mo ito masusuklian kaya naman palagi na itong bumabagabag sa iyo.

Dapat naman siguro ay piliin natin ang mga tulong na pagtatanawan ng utang na loob. Kung pinahiram ka ng piso, hindi naman siguro kailangan na tulungan mo siyang magnakaw kung hingin niya sa hinaharap. Ang utang na loob ay hindi na utang na loob kung ito'y hindi kusa, kung ito'y naging simpleng obligasyon.

Huwag naman nating pahirapan ang ating mga sarili sa pagsubok na suklian ang tulong habang buhay. Kadalasan tayo lamang ang nagpapatong ng sarili nating pabigat. Ang mga taong tumutulong nang mula sa puso ay hindi malupit maningil- kung naniningil man.

Friday, June 10, 2005

I am so full of myself

i am no linguist. But i just realized that English is a conceited language. C'mon, the word 'I' is always in capital. It seems as if that it's the most important word in the language. In filipino, 'ako' is in the same size as 'ikaw', 'kami' o 'sila'- i think signifying 'pagkapantay-pantay at pakikisama.

i mean, what's the deal? In the English language 'I' always come first. 'I' have to be happy first. I, I, I. Does my welfare always have to come first? So now, i'm using a small letter 'i' for my blog entries. It's going to take a lot of getting use to. Old habits die hard.

But i'm still capitalizing it on my class papers or else i'll probably fail.

Papa's daughter

i'm beginning to think that i may be a disappointment to my father.

Firstly, i don't speak fluent Fukien so i won't be able to talk to his business colleges and impress them with my impeccable Fukien or Mandarin for that matter. Having a Filipino mother will always mean that we are second class citizens in the Chinese community.

Next, i don't even look Chinese. I'm brown-skinned- tan, if you want it to sound classy. My eyes are big. And i'm not a beauty so i can't be arranged to marry any of his friends' sons.

Thirdly, i have absolutely no interest in business whatsoever. i'm enrolled in a course that doesn't deal with management or finance. i thank God he did not force anything on me and allowed me to make my own choice, but still the question hangs: who will take care of the business? i'd like to think i'm artistic and a people person. And though he says that both qualities are important in a businessman or business woman in my case, i just don't like my life to be governed by money, interestm, principal and all that economics and management stuff (he also often tells me not to use the word 'stuff' because it implies that i am not articulate).

And most important reason of all, i am a WOMAN. Even if he doesn't at all mention it. i know that he dreams of a son to walk in his footsteps. People always ask ' no boys?' and he'll answer 'i was blessed with three Marias'. i know he loves us but in Chinese and Filipino cultures an eldest son is always a great asset.

Recently, he took us to the plant that recycles old boxes and paper. He sort of oversees it. i know he wants us to know the ropes. i do want to please my Papa and continue his legacy. So i'm cancelling my devcom 30 course and taking management101 instead.