Wednesday, December 13, 2006

prodigal daughter

I said that I needed time and space to rebel. The yoke began to feel heavy, like an imposition. But really I had exchanged a feast for a measly piece of stale bread. I thought that the 'exploration' would give me freedom but it only led me to be caught in the trap of foul words, anger and envy, and unnecessary pain and confusion.

So I returned because I didn't want to rebel anymore. Because I didn't see the point, and because life is crappy when it's in my hands. And because I know He's waiting. I found indeed that "better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere." And it was more peaceful than anything I've felt for the past few weeks because I knew I was right with Him. Amazingly the yoke isn't heavy at all.

Admittedly, I'll probably rebel some time in the future (probably for totally different reasons) but I'll always come back and I'll always have a place to come back to. And I've learn to take it day by day. Strength to strength until I see Him.

A thousand times I've failed
Still Your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
I'm caught in Your grace

- From the inside out, Hillsong United


Anonymous banans said...

the rebel thing, di ba i told you already how i realized na if you give the enemy even if just a foothold, you'll be going down all the way. just like with my shet. and i realized that - and this i didn't tell you, i think - when irvin and i were talking about the TFI approval. xempre he was anti, i was pro, my point being, if we keep on resisting modifications to the system, if we keep on insisting on waiting around for more govt support - which could take years - it would be a complete waste! esp when there is actually an alternative. iniisip ko kasi, it doesn't mean that if we're giving in to TFI, we'd be abandoning demands of more govt support. and i realized that in the issue, there was no 'for the meantime'. i realized na it wasn't a complete waste to stand by the belief of our rights to more govt support as UP students. kasi nga naman, if you give in even just a little, before you know it, you'd be going down all the way.

6:40 PM  

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